Almost Lovers

7 Days more till Christmas..
Its getting closer.

Actually I know we can never be together. We will stay this way until one decided to move on.
Sorry for being so negative. I am just human. I've had many broken hearts then you can imagine.
Everyday, I can act as if I feel okay,but sorry love, I am not okay. If it were to be others, I think they will be long gone. Girls don't wait. Times are precious as they grow old everyday. Girls are useless when they start touching 30 of their years.
People ask me, '' why so rush? You so young, are you worried that you can not find another guy ? ''
I am young, I know, but babe or dude, I am not afraid that I can not find any other guy in my life, I want a long relationship, don't want to couple for 4 years then married, I want a 10 years! I only want to get married ONCE!
So you see, now I am 20, 10 years later, I am 30. Am I still young then?
I don't fall for someone so easy, when I do, I give my best. But I have my own temper too.I also have what I like to do and don't.

Tolerating & Patients, I have. I prefer to prove then to just say. You would feel it if you're the one.

As I was saying. We won't be going any where further then just this. This is where we can only be. I hope that my instincts are wrong. But this feeling is kinda strong. I can promise you that I will always be there when you need me, but one day, I will be there not with a heart of someone who loved you, but just a good friend.

I keep helping you to find many reasons to tell myself that why we are this way, maybe its because you've been hurt before, feeling insecure, maybe because I wasn't good enough yet, maybe because you've heard a a lot about me that wasn't really nice, maybe you just want to concentrate more on your career side,maybe...

Sometimes I don't talk much, its because I really feel so stupid.
How I wish, I can manja, I can act like a kid, I can get cuddles, I can kiss you whenever I want to.
How I wish, you would call me names like baby, or dear or darling,
How I wish the first thing I can do is kiss you on the face when I see you or hug you.
How I wish no matter how clumsy I am, you would feel that I am cute rather then annoying.
How I wish we would laugh at all the mistakes we do  instead of you getting pissed all the time.
How I wish you would not let me do so much, and we would debate on whose going to carry more things then who or whose going to do the laundry.
How I wish, you can see how much I was hurt by others and you wouldn't want me to ever feel that way again.

Am I asking too much? Nothing requires money, nothing requires hurting yourself.
But I know, its about the heart. It's not easy to give someone your heart.
I understand. I accept this fact.

xoxo
Chubbychic =)